Tiernan Douieb (pronounced ‘Eee-Waaaah Crunk’) is one of them people who you’ve heard about with beards. Tiernan has had a beard for quite some years now, with it varying in shape & size, but only disappearing entirely once.
On that occasion Tiernan realised his chin not only terrified and upset others, but also redefined his face shape so it was no longer the cuddly, bear like image people knew and loved and instead a hairless cold pink smorgasbord of shame.
So since then Tiernan has grown, nurtured and developed his face coat, providing somewhere for small animals to nestle and children to rub sticks against to cause fires.
Tiernan is officially the 6708th most hirsute person in his street and once had his overall body furs compared to ‘a skinned Muppet stuck to a judges wig.’ The only downsides to all this are that he is far less aerodynamic when chasing bad guys in cars and static balloons make him look really surprised all over.
As well as the full time job of beard wearing, Tiernan also does stand-up comedy for adults and children, writing for things like televisions, articles and post-it notes to remember milk, and he tweets more often than a bird doing the dawn chorus on Groundhog Day.
Oh and he once saw a really fat squirrel eating a Cornetto like a human would. He’s never really got over that.
Tiernan really dislikes people who just copy and paste his biog from his website without doing any research to find out if its real or not then interview him about things he’s said on it. Those people are idiots.